The Five Love Languages

Love. One simple word with so much power. Love is a tricky thing. It can build us up so high that we feel like we are invincible, but it can also tear us down and make us feel inferior.

We see numerous clients in our practice who are struggling either with romantic love or love of self (aka self-love). Despite this, the topic of love should always be handled delicately. The ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love we can experience:

• Storage: natural affection

• Philia: friendship

• Eros: sexual and erotica

• Agape: unconditional, divine love

• Ludus: flirting

• Pragma: committed, married love

• Philautia: self love

While love may come in different shapes and forms, it is the one that we all seek. In fact, 88% of people say that one of the main reasons that they get married is because of love, so it's clear that it plays a huge role in our lives.

Author Gary Chapman released a book called “The 5 Love Languages” where he examines and defines the five love languages that each of us possess:

• Words of Affirmation: Positive and kind words

• Quality Time: Spending time together

• Physical Touch: Physical touch in the form of hugs, kisses, sexual intercourse

• Receiving Gifts: Thoughtful and meaningful gifts

• Acts of Service: Doing things because it pleases the other person or helps

To learn more about them and see which one love language is yours, you can take the quiz on his website HERE. When we know what our love language is, as well as our partner(s), we are able to find the best and most effective ways to communicate. While this is a good first step, relationships, especially romantic ones, take work, time and effort.

What’s your love language?